Does your older kid always yearn to be the first in everything and everywhere? Do you always find them competing with their kids around them, especially siblings, or is it difficult for them to hear no to their demands?

If the answer is yes, then you should observe your child because they might have developed the first-born syndrome. But before checking them out, you first need to understand that this is not an imaginary situation. It seriously does exist and is discussed in Ayurveda as well as in the modern sciences. You should know what exactly it is, the symptoms, causes, why it is bad and what you can do to overcome this.

In this article, you'll find answers to all these questions in detail so that you know everything about it and can make informed decisions for your child.

What is first born syndrome?

The firstborn child is very special to everyone in the family. They get all the attention of their family members and are super pampered. Parents go to any length to provide the best possible care to their first or only child. It is done to make them feel loved and wanted at every point of time. But the trouble starts when the second child comes because then the new baby gets all the attention.

This makes the first child, who remained the center of everyone's attraction for the longest time feeling less loved. Children often react to this in very anxious ways, one of which is by demanding and seeking all the love and attention they can get. This is known as the "firstborn syndrome." This might consequently develop unhealthy competitive behaviour in the child.

They may obstinately demand everything, even before the younger sibling, and this is often referred to as the "me syndrome."
 

Causes and outcomes

You are aware that this is the basic human nature of stubbornness, which occurs as a result of the shift in the center of attraction from you to someone else. Even though this is a thing that is arriving out of basic human nature, it might get serious and have major fallouts if not acknowledged on time. The child may develop hatred for their siblings, an unhealthy competitive nature, or even feel unwanted and depressed. They might lose confidence in their parents and start being silent or become stubborn and cranky over the smallest things.

They might do activities that are not a part of the correct attitude to seek attention.

The syndrome, however, can be avoided or recovered in as simple ways as the causes of its development. All the details for this are further down in the blog.

How to avoid this?

Me syndrome is quite a common problem in children nowadays as they're brought up with more care, attention, and pampering. But this doesn't mean that there are no ways to avoid this or that they require a lot from you. Just some small gestures can make the conditions better and your first child more comfortable.

Here's what you can do to avoid any such situation

•   Don't give them everything- It is okay to give the best to your children and fulfil their needs. But getting them everything they demand can develop the nature of not valuing what they have and making them stubborn. This not only troubles the birth of a second child but also develops a wrong attitude. So, whenever you give them something, make sure they need it and make the most of it.
•   Make time for your older child- Even if your older child is old enough to understand things, you must take some time out for them. You can play with him or her, sit with them while they do their homework, or just talk to them casually. Make sure you do not completely neglect them. Asking them how their day was or randomly giving them attention and making them feel wanted can help a lot.
•   Teach them values like sharing- Inculcating some basic good habits like sharing, being kind and humble, etc can help the child a lot in any such situation. Any child who develops these habits is more adaptable and accepting than those who are over-pampered by their parents and receive everything they desire.
•   Let your kids bond- Do not just restrict the elder child from coming near the younger ones. Your fear is right in its place, but as parents, you need to understand how important it is for your kids to bond. The best way is to let your older child play with their baby brother or sister when you're around. Make them sit in a safe place and give them time to hold the baby. They will feel excited, and connected, and will ultimately develop the feeling of being the elder one.  You will definitely see the enhancing bond between your kids. This way, the first kid is also involved with you throughout and there are lesser chances of ignorance.

All you need to take care of is to involve your older kids and prepare them in advance. There can be no better way to avoid your child developing the firstborn syndrome and reduce the feeling of competitiveness.